


Why Do You Bring Me To My Knees

by fffan201



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Pain, barlowen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-03-27 19:25:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13887522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fffan201/pseuds/fffan201
Summary: This FF around TAKE THAT starts one week after Jason's exit and where the three remaining guys decided on how to proceed with the band. But before Gary, Howard and Mark could really talk about it, there is an argument between the friends, which could significantly change their possible joint future. A dispute that will have its consequences and thus put their friendship on a hard trial. A future where either TAKE THAT's time would come to a final end or a new and incredible chapter of their band history could be written.





	1. Something’s We Don't Talk About

_The words, the words we never say_  
Don’t make a sound till it’s too late  
Just freeze so we don’t have to start again  
Before we make the same mistakes  
Before we throw it all away  
The words, the words we never say  
Don’t make a sound till it’s too late  
Just freeze so we don’t have to start again  
Before we make the same mistakes  
Before we throw it all away 

 

It had just been a week before all the newspapers had reported that the British and former boy band Take That were now poorer by another member. The band, which had shrunk to the trio, had lost its dormant pole and the best dancer. Jason Orange. The loss of Jason was like a big setback for the three remaining, leaving a gap in their community that no one could really understand. Although you had the knowledge that Jason had been playing with the idea of leaving the band for a couple of years, it hurt a lot. They had tried everything to get him out of it. In vain. 

Jason's departure triggered some waves of disappointment, but they didn’t even have the dimensions, which had once evoked a Robbie Williams in the Nineties. But in contrast to this time, his decision wasn’t based on any disputes. It was more with Jason himself. Somehow he had felt that the music didn’t fill him anymore and he needed more than just a time-out. Jason wanted more to be himself and concentrate on his own future. And this was also understandable. Nevertheless, it would have been nice if they could sit in a studio once again, or even five, in a studio and work together on new songs. What Gary, Howard and Mark had already attacked and had already worked since the beginning of the year on a new album. Of course, on Jason’s blessing was. With his consent and the hope that he was still different, one had always had a place for Jason in the back of the album. So, that you could install it is at any time. But now that it was official and Jason officially cleared his place, the big question was, whether Take That could work as a trio. 

After the official statement on Jason's departure, each of the three survivors needed some time and so they had decided to take a week off all the hustle and bustle and worry about their future together. When this one week finally ended, they went to the studio the next day, where they wanted to reveal their thoughts and bring them to the man. No sooner had the trio been completed, they were already sitting together in a seat corner and were silent for the first half an hour. Whereupon the real topic, how it should proceed now, it was silenced properly. No one could even say a word about it. Jason was already missing now, just a week before. It was more than just unfamiliar not to have with him. Okay. Jason still existed anymore and they were all still in touch with him, but he was still missed by every one of the boys. The longer the thought of the missing and the fourth man, the more difficult it became with time to reveal their thoughts. But since somebody had to start, Gary finally went voluntarily on the slippery ice. As the bandleader, he felt somehow obliged to keep at least a match under the ice and thus initiate the melting process.

"And what about you’re wedding plans? Does everything still go according to plan or are there any problems that we can help you out with?" Gary asked Howard about his upcoming wedding with his longtime friend and present fiancé.  
"Yes. Are you still ringing with the love bells or have you thought about it differently and are you pulling back?" Mark Gary's theme change, although they hadn’t even touched the actual subject.

That Gary and Mark would be more than just uninvited. Since he had already two relationships with one child and one affair behind him, they would never have thought it possible for their mutual friend to bind themselves with a single woman forever. When, a few months ago, he had expressed his intentions, they didn’t want to believe him at first and could laugh at first. But after rubbing their sincerity under the noses and showing the two guys, the ring, both were amazed that he wanted to finally settle down. Apparently he had finally arrived in his desired life. Because of this, they had to admit that he had deserved it and could only congratulate him on the fact that he was now really driving the port of marriage.

"Good. Everything goes fine," the future bridegroom told Gary that he didn’t even need his help, and then turned directly to Mark's question, giving him a mischievous grin, "And as for your question. Why would I want to go back if the bells had rung even last night?"  
"Oh. Jesus Christ, Doug. That I didn’t want to know, now.” Mark immediately knew about his usually ambiguous statements and already had a picture in mind that did not let him go.  
"You have to blame yourself."  
"This is my fault?"  
"Yes. With this kind of questioning, you should expect to get such an answer to the bells." Howard couldn’t let him put another one on it.  
"You really don’t have them all anymore. If I were Katie, I would want to think again, to make you my husband. You should think about expressing yourself more expressively with your forty-seven years. Where is the fine British style?"  
"This is something that you can safely forget on him. Then you meet with him on absolute resistance. Sometimes I even wonder if he is a British at all. ...I already see it before me, as he himself, with eighty ninety years, raises such sayings. If he was to stay alive for so long," Gary finally interfered in the conversation between the two and let Mark know by the way that Howard would never change.  
"In case? I’m absolutely sure that I will reach such a proud age." Howard could only comment on Gary's last sentence and saw himself as the only one on the grave of his already deceased friends, "In my opinion, have I die the better chances in old age than her both together."  
"You don’t believe it all right now, do you?" Gary didn’t like this idea at all, and from his point of view, had something macabre about him.  
"Yes. What makes you think that? You could just as easily die tomorrow. ...If not today," Mark pointed out to his tall friend that death could happen at any time.  
"Oh come on. As long as one goes through life with open eyes, looks at his health, doesn’t play with the idea of killing himself, taking all sorts of shit out of the way or not succumbing to any diseases or genes within the family, life is still long." Howard was of the opinion that one needed only a healthy understanding of man to be able to enjoy a decent and long life.

 

While Howard and Mark were still discussing this more than unpleasant and frightening issue, Gary had to think about his father at the last point, which died about five years ago at a heart attack. First and foremost, Howard had given him a glaring look. So far, Gary had never thought of the same fate that once bore his father's grave. But now, he couldn’t think of anything else but that. Since he already had great fears of dying, it was like pouring more oil into an already existing fire. Because of this, an icy emptiness filled his heart. Besides, a feeling of insufficiency grew in him, which didn’t let him go. Gary had to tackle it quickly before his entire body was seized by this primal force, and he didn’t know what he was doing next. 

"Could you please stop and come to the topics, why we are here?" Gary suddenly became loud.

At the outbreak, Howard and Mark stopped instantly and could only look at their companions in amazement. Because it really did not happen very often, that Gary times over the strings struck and besides also his voice so unusually lifted. This was by no means his kind. But when it came to that, Gary couldn’t be recognized at all. ...Just like now.

"Whow. Is everything okay with you?" Howard risked it to penetrate into the lion's proverbial cave at any time, and thus, if necessary, to find out what had led Gary to this outburst.  
"No. Of course not ...and you know too well why." Gary didn’t allow himself to go on to confrontation and thus had his problems with getting back in.  
"It's good. Keep calm. Okay? ...Then we're talking now." Howard tried to soothe his mate and was ready to take the due and clear discussion.  
"Um. ...Before we start, I have a question about you that has been around me for a long time." Mark turned to Howard again, quickly letting him know that a certain question had been burning on him for days.  
"And that would be?"  
"Well, yes. I do not know how to ask it without being intrusive. "  
"Just spit it out. Where is your problem?"

Still struggling with the words, Mark gave Gary a quick look, knowing that the question had already been secretly asked, but had not yet spoken.

"Well ...your wedding is already in three months. Should not even be gradually ...the quests list ready to stand?" Mark tried to cautiously find out how it was about the current state of things.  
"It's been a long time," Howard pointed out, adding, after a short silence with a lowered gaze, "The invitations are already out there and have been given the promise by everyone."

Because it was a bit uncomfortable for Howard, he couldn’t even look into the eyes to his two friends and tell them that he had never noted them on his quests list. Somehow, he had hoped all the time that he could push himself to officially unload them. Howard had been anxious to celebrate his wedding in secret silence and only with the closest confidants. Gary and Mark didn’t fit quite so to the aspiring wedding society because of their popularity. In fact, he had determined to tell them gently, but to his regret he never had the curve to get a heart. 

"Is that supposed to be ...we're not even invited?" Gary finally said, to which Howard wasn’t even able to feel.  
"Exactly that is to be said." Howard could only with a small voice told, that this was the core statement on the topic quests list.  
"Why? ...I mean, what should we have done to you, that you don’t even consider writing to your quests list?" Mark didn’t understand why Howard did not want him and Gary to attend his wedding.  
"You must understand that. I just want a small quiet wedding with my closest confidants. ...You both polarize me too much ...and especially you, Gaz! …I'm sorry."  
"We don’t belong to your closest circle of trust? Then ...then isn’t Jay invited, too?" Mark let his disbelief for himself and also wanted to know whether Jason was also unloaded.  
"To be honest, he is even my best man!"  
"You ...you even chose Jay as your best man and you don’t even invite us?"  
Since the cat was now out of the proverbial bag, Howard became a bit more courageous and justified his decision, which he wholly expressed: "Yes. Why, not. This is my wedding and I can invite whom I want. Besides, Jay doesn’t like the hustle and bustle as well as me and he is my very best friend. Not to invite him would be the biggest mistake I could ever make."  
"The biggest mistake you can make is by trashing us both. ...I ...I always thought we were like brothers. But I was wrong." Gary could no longer keep his disappointment behind the mountain.  
"We are still like brothers, it will never change. But you also have to understand that I just don’t want to have you with me. As I have already said, it’s only a small, silent and secret wedding celebration and I cannot use one like you! The only thing I want from you now is that you respect my decision and stay away from my wedding."  
"Oh. But I am very sorry for you that I am no longer the nation's joke. Now say that you put me between a …Justin Biber and Michael Jackson. Someone, who said to be no longer among the living and is only eager to land with every headline in every newspaper every day. I was, am, and will never be a would-be star, who lives out his ways. I would never have thought that this is coming from you. Do you ever know how you hurt me and I feel that I have already forfeited my life in your eyes?" Gary snapped out his old and hated title, which he once held, and played for a while, where he was dropped by all, Howard included, and demoted to a Nobody.  
"Don’t you think you're exaggerate the whole thing now? Why cannot you just understand that I don’t want to make a big deal about my own wedding? From you I have now seriously expected more tolerance and that you stand behind my decision."  
"I exaggerate? That's the point. …You know what? I've had enough. I don’t want to run after my invitation anyway. …Do what you want." Gary felt more than just bouncing off his head and was no longer looking to get a glimpse for the wedding of the year.  
"That's what I've been doing anyway, and you're a selfish, self-indulgent asshole from a mocked and brainless joke figure that is just about to bite into the grass, you better do it by going out of my eyes and staying away from my wedding!"  
"Nothing is dearer to me than that. I do this favour to you even very much with pleasure. …I disappear."

On his own last words, Gary immediately turned away from Howard, snatched his jacket and could only leave the studio in a cursed way, slamming the door behind him and wasn’t being seen anymore.


	2. Start A Riot In The Streets My Friend

So only Howard and Mark remained behind, and although Gary had searched for the distance, there was still a certain tension in the room, which robbed one of more than just the breath. Neither of the two dared to breathe loudly. Not to mention changing one word. While Howard couldn’t understand Gary's overreaction at all, Mark had a full understanding of his extremely disappointed friend. Not only because, like Gary, he was no more on the guests list, but also on the ground that they now needed the feeling of being more than ever. An invitation to Howard's wedding would undoubtedly make her current situation more bearable, and even if there was something to it, let her forget that Jason had decided to leave the band. Accordingly, this dispute came at a time which couldn’t have been made worse.

Mark was deeply sorry. Why did he have to ask Howard about the state of the wedding invitations? Why? So he somehow got the feeling that this quarrel was up to his crap. Although he could understand Howard to a certain point that he wanted to keep his wedding small and quiet, but that he didn’t invite him and Gary only because of their higher notoriety, for Mark the whole almost bordered on a conspiracy. Just because he and Gary were more perceived by the public, Howard could be badly marginalized his two friends.

That Gary now felt more than just thrust out and betrayed by Howard, Mark couldn’t blame him in the least. It really had to hurt him so much that he was so treated by a very good friend. The accusation alone was already hard enough, but the Howard insult him then also in a rough way, and by the way of his death in the shortest time had to bring the prospect, but what was the bottom drawer. No. That wasn’t at all.

After Mark Howard had once again asked Gary about his behavior, he had disappeared, too, and was only about to follow his friend and hopefully to catch up. 

 

With the feeling of being left standing, the remaining Howard stared at the door thoughtlessly, wondering why his friends didn’t give him the slightest sympathy. What was so hard to understand that he didn’t want to have Gary and Mark at his wedding? They couldn’t tell him whom to invite and whom he did not. At this festivity, he and his Katie were the focus and not any guests, who still had a high public standing. It was supposed to be the best day of his life and he didn’t want to be taken by anyone. Not even from one of his friends who listened to the name Gary or Mark. Even if they did not admit it, but both now had a charisma, which could really put anything else in the shade. No. It was definitely something he had to prevent. ...It cost what it wants.

At the same time, Mark's last words came back to his mind, before he disappeared, that he should question his behavior to Gary. Okay. Perhaps he wouldn’t have hurt his friend so hard that his life would soon come to an end. He shouldn’t have said that clearly. He now hoped that Gary would still have a long life ahead of him and will not be confronted with his possible death in the foreseeable future.

Even if the whole thing sounded a little hard now, but Howard had to stand still, that this dispute was also good. With this unsuccessful action, he had made the two of them at least not to be invited to his wedding. However, their friendship could possibly be in dire trouble and thus put to the test, was for Howard nevertheless rather an absurd and difficult to imagine. At some point the waves will smooth again. For him it was as safe as the Amen in the church.

As Howard was more and more absorbed by these rooms, and thus had hardly any air to breathe, he felt the urgent need to quickly disappear from here. The day had already gone. In order to regain the sensation of free breathing as quickly as possible, he immediately set out for the road. After finally taking the first step out into the open and once the cold air deeply in and out, Howard felt something alive again. 

With a new and much fresher spirit of life, he at first glimpsed his immediate surroundings with a glance, and at some distance discovered a man's scrub, which was apparently quite excited. As more and more curious people joined, Howard thought he knew the reason for this cloak, and was more than a hundred percent sure that Gary and Mark had something to do with it. This couldn’t be clearer enough for him. An onslaught of exuberant fans, who wanted to have a photo or at least, to find out how the band should go on. This wasn’t really proof that Gary and Mark had once again thrown the fans to the show, but for Howard it was already enough to keep the two from their wedding somehow. But he did not have to worry about it, since Gary and Mark were not going to be invited at all.

Howard didn’t have a guilty conscience about his two friends now, but because of their quarrels, it was better for them to go separate ways. In a few months, after his marriage had already been completed and over all disputes grass had grown, they could sit down again as in the old days and calmly discuss their common future with Take That, as they had actually wanted to do.

So he finally turned away from the distant happenings and, with the thought of forgetting Gary and Mark once, made his way home.

 

After Howard had said nothing about it, and had not thought of the future whereabouts of Take That, a few minutes later two ambulances drove up, where the paramedics were rushing straight out and rushing to the two people who were in urgent need of medical help. Unfortunately, the help but came at one already too late. In a more than tragic and terrible accident, a life was extinguished forever. ...

While a middle-aged man, with a tear in his eyes, was seated on the side of the road and was no longer able to catch himself, the dead man was already hauled onto a stretcher, covered with a white cloth, and shipped in one of the ambulances. For the sake of all the beasts of conscience, the dead man was first taken out of sight until the carcass finally arrived. The man who had been mentioned, and apparently under shock, stared at the person who had been standing motionless before him, with a look more than merely concerned, and was thus no longer able to turn his gaze from it. The sight of it was, in his opinion, the most frightening thing he had ever seen and burned himself in his brain for all eternities. At the same time, he thought of something from false that it couldn’t be real ...and yet it had happened.

"Mister?" The man who had turned to himself was at any time approached by one of the paramedics, but a reaction from the latter didn’t occur.

The shock was simply too deep to be able to exert even the slightest reaction. This accident shouldn’t have happened. Especially, if someone lost his owns life in a tragic misfortune. Okay. The other accident victim was still alive, but for how long? His life could have gone out after this ugly accident as well. In spite of the conflict with a motor vehicle, this one person could still succumb to his too serious injuries ...and as it looked, it was quite possible.

"Mister Owen?"

Upon his appointment, Mark looked up sadly at the paramedic, and while a blanket was being laid around his still shaking shoulders, a tear rattled over his cheek, leaving Mark's shattering world in a new and cold light.

"Come. ...You have an acute stress reaction. A nervous breakdown and it would be best for you to calm down."

With these words, Mark was cautiously helped by the paramedic and brought to one of the ambulances, where he was given a plastic cup with water, and to get a further reassurance, valerian got a syringe.

"He ...he'll be fine. ...Or?" Mark stammered to himself, while his gaze was still resting on the other person, with the impression that he was no longer alive.  
"Don’t worry about it. Okay? Let this be our worries. I guarantee that we will do everything to keep Gary alive! ... Just don’t give up the hope," the medic's Mark tried to encourage Mark, to do everything possible to keep his seriously injured friend alive.

Mark barely nodded to him, wondering why. Why Gary? ...How could all this happen at all?

 

Shortly after an extremely disappointed Gary had made his way over Howard's air and then left the room just hurtful, Mark had run after him to apologize to his friend for provoking this dispute. When he had finally found him, he called after him to wait for him, trying to catch up with Gary somehow. It was just a short time before a crossing. Before he could finally get to Gary's side, Mark asked him, in a misplaced tone, to leave him alone and thus to disappear.

"Gaz. Please. ...I'm sorry," Mark stammered his official apology with a small voice, "I shouldn’t have started. All this shit is on my shit. ...If I had known before that Doug wouldn’t even want us at his wedding, then ..."

In his almost desperate attempt to apologize to him, Gary immediately turned to his little friend, and as a single tear rippled over his slightly reddish face, he interrupted Mark in his plan.

"What should that? Why are you blaming yourself now? How could you please know that he had never planned to invite us both? How do you know I'm going to blame you and not forgive you? This is perfect nonsense ...and anyway, it would have come sooner or later. The only disadvantage is that it had to happen now. A week after Jay's departure, and where we wanted to talk about our future with Take That. But as I already said, I cannot blame you. ...I cannot and will not afford to lose you now," Gary said, that Mark didn’t to apologize at all.  
"What are you talking about? ...I am already aware that you feel more than disappointed, betrayed and hurt by Howard at the same time, but how do you know that you can lose me?" Mark didn’t understand how Gary came to could lose him for whatever reason.

As Gary had not the slightest desire to explain now, even though Mark had to know what he was doing, he turned away from him and wanted to come home as soon as possible. At the crossing of the road, however, suddenly accelerated an approaching car, which at first at the start, of course, still with allowed speed and the distance, thus was considered absolutely safe. The driver had also seen that Gary was about to cross the road, but for some reason, his car was accelerated from zero to a hundred, so he was racing for the singer. ...What finally led to this disastrous accident.

While the car caught Gary with a pure primordial force, Mark felt as if an important part of his life had been torn from his chest. Although everything went quite quickly, this horrible event took place before his eyes as if in a slow-motion. What made him even worse than it already was. Somehow, he just saw Gary resting motionless on the asphalt. For a couple of endless seconds, Mark wasn’t even able to move even the smallest muscle. But when his fear that Gary could not have survived the accident gained the upper hand, his body immediately took action, and so Mark hurried to get to his friend's side.

Scarcely had Mark left the short distance to Gary, he settled himself with stagnant breathing on his side, and did not try to be intimidated by his sight. But he had already lost this fight. For as Gary looked, he could already, be dead. The right arm, as well, as his left leg, were each at an unnatural angle, and one could immediately see with a glance that these two bones were broken. One or two bone fractures were not dramatic at the moment, and were usually part of a car crash, but unfortunately Mark couldn’t say how the inner injuries were. Which, he didn’t trust even in the approach. Gary's outward appearance was enough for him. For example, it’s pale skin color where in complete contrast to the countless bloody scratches and cuts on the face, as well as other unprotected areas, are associated with and thus strongly emphasized. The worst was, however, that under Gary's head had already formed a blood pool, which seemed to be even more extent.

"Jesus Christ. Gary. …No. ...Please be still alive." Mark could only bring forth anxiously and prayed that Gary wasn’t at all going to the proverbial white light at the end of the tunnel.

He tried to check his pulse slightly, but as his own fear stood in his way, he felt so awkward that he couldn’t even feel the right spot and thus could not get a single pulse beat. In case Gary had a pulse at all. So he gave up after a few seconds and thought he had lost his best friend forever. Out of this belief, he gently grabbed Gary on his shoulders and hoped to take him back to the realm of the living by shaking.

"Come on. …Please. Gaz. You must not be dead. ...Don’t do this to me now. ...I don’t want to lose you, either." Mark still sobbed, until he just let himself be overwhelmed by his tears and could only cry for the apparently dead Gary.

At the same time, Mark buried himself more and more into his friend's motionless body as well as he could and wanted to prevent at all costs that his soul emerged from the mortal shell. Even though they were not particularly close to the early days of Take That, they felt more united than ever before. The loss of Gary, was simply intolerable. Having lost him now forever, Mark came near the edge of a nervous breakdown. Which, he then also suffered.

While he was not even aware of what was happening in his immediate surroundings, Mark was gently but firmly restrained by the words, and led by some strange person to the edge of the street, where he found himself shortly afterwards in a sitting position on the citizen's dugout . Although he had been whispered to him that help was already on the road and Gary was still alive, Mark couldn’t turn his empty and rigid gaze from him.

As Mark then learned more about how this misfortune could come, he was completely out of his way and had serious difficulties to be able to calm down from his shock. First and foremost, in the fact, that on this shocking accident, neither, friend nor foe possessed any guilt. In a tragic way, the hard fate of life had given the driver a heart attack, which unfortunately led to the passage of the accelerator, bringing Gary to the brink of death. But with all the ugliness involved in this accident, it was a miracle that Gary was still alive. He could have found death as well as the driver himself. But the fact that one had to give his life for it just because its time had suddenly come to an end was just not fair. Be it on natural way as a result of an accident.


	3. Something Deep Inside Me Dies

With the one thought that Gary's life was still in the limelight and the fear for a possible loss with it was still not long, Mark was finally led into the inside of the ambulances, where shortly followed the motionless figure named Gary. As soon as all the doors were closed, with blue light and siren went to the nearest hospital in a hurry and Mark had, however, on the whole journey over the feeling, that they wasn’t even in the slightest advance and therefore everything was unnecessarily drawn to length. So from a single minute to a half-eternity, Mark's nerves were put to the test very hard. While for Mark half a life passed him, in the real world just five six minutes passed, until the ambulance arrived at the emergency entrance of the intended hospital. At the opening of the large doors, the emergency staff collapsed on Gary like a horde full of vultures and did everything humanly to bring him as quickly as possible into the operating room, where he was received directly by a surgeon team.

Since the entrance into the operating room was only allowed for the staff, one such as Mark had to stay out of the way and thus was condemned to wait. Waiting for the salvation to come and hopefully said the news that Gary was doing so well and that his life was no longer in the thread. There was no other question for him. The more than just shocking news that Gary could still have found death, he wouldn’t listen and certainly not accept.

"Please do everything to keep Gaz alive." Mark whispered, praying that Gary was somehow out of emergency.

Scarcely had Mark left his little prayer to the half-gods in white, he heard the voice of a nurse next to him, assuring him that the doctors here were the best in their profession and would really do anything to keep Gary alive. With these words he was gently but firmly seized by the shoulders and led to a waiting area where Mark could settle on a rather comfortable leather couch. What the nurse is like. Because of the current state of Mark, he shouldn’t remain alone. But since he could hardly keep an eye on him, it would be appropriate for him to do something that was no stranger to him, and so much closer to him than he would ever be. Accordingly, he cautiously asked him if he was not going to call someone he wanted to have around him. What Mark naturally nodded right away, muttering something about an Emma with whom he had been married for five years. In his opinion, it would be best for Gary's wife, Dawn, when this horrible news came from a friend than any of the hospital staff.

So this nurse made the very difficult call in the name of Mark and let an initial terrible Emma know that it was not primarily about her husband, but much more about Gary and which would be better that Dawn got this more than only frightening news of her. He also assured her that when she arrived, she could use the rear entrance unhindered to escape all the whole bustle of the press. Because the first few and isolated paparazzi had already gotten wind of what had happened to Gary and tried stubbornly to get any information or to get at least a good picture. But what still remains so far in the frame. But the forest fires were kindled and the accompanying runners were already making their way. As a result, it has become increasingly intolerable. So with every last minute, the hospital had its dear effort to keep this pack of impotent paparazzi at some distance.

 

Although as many paparazzi as before the main entrance were at the back entrance and so their luck tried to be the first to get some useful information, Emma and Dawn nevertheless entered the hospital's long corridors a half an hour later and tried so as soon as possible, to Mark, who was already waiting for her longingly. After a long distance, the two of them found themselves in the waiting area, where Mark was struggling on the legs at the sight of a broken Dawn, and she instantly, with an apology as much as he felt sorry for her lips, In his arms.

"Where is he? …What’s about him? How could that ever happen?" Dawn stammered several questions at once, trying to find out what had happened and how she was about her husband's health.  
"There ...there was this car and ...and suddenly accelerated. Gary, he ...he lay there ...on the street ...and didn’t move. ...All that many blood, ...I ...I thought he was dead." Mark tried to describe the picture, as he had perceived it, and ended up falling back into a tearful world with more than a thin and brittle voice.

Whereupon he was again forced to his knees and thus sank to the ground until he came to sit there. So that he didn’t pull Dawn down, Mark had already released her from his embrace before and thus became the sole victim of the attraction. The nurse responded to this collapse by taking Mark under his arms and saying, "Gary is still operating. That he isn’t dead, he owes only to his guardian angel. I cannot say much about his present condition. I just know it's extremely critical.", back to the leather couch helped. To those words of the nurse, Dawn's eyes widened and, with horror, only one hand could hold her mouth open. As she was already dangerously fluctuating and so the same fate as Mark could meet, Dawn was supported by her good friend Emma also on wise foresight and carefully brought into a sitting position on the couch. While Emma said that everything was going to be all right again and that Gary was a fighter, her tearful cheeks grew thick with tears. The fact that Gary was an able fighter and didn’t allow himself to be so fast, Dawn knew it quite too well. But they all had heard that Gary's condition was more than just critical and that he could lose the fight at any time was unfortunately in the range of possibility. It was this thought that made it quite straightforward. Gary was already losing, was the purest nightmare. No. He couldn’t die. Not so early and above all, not ...this way.

So, the three of them had no choice but to wait. However, the tooth of time still tirelessly and more than mercilessly gnawed at their already very diligent patience. While the great hand advanced from one minute to the next every sixty seconds, one felt quickly that time was widening, and thus slowly lost its importance. It was as if the time didn’t exist anymore. But according to Einstein's theory, this was completely impossible. The time ticked only depending on the sensation differently fast. While it was possible for the one to pass through them as if in flight, the next one felt as if he or she were stuck in a black hole, where one lost the sense of time. ...And in that said black hole, one thought like Dawn, Emma and Mark.

After an eternity which had already lasted for about two and a half hours, one of the wings of the broad double door glided to one side, where a doctor with a flowing gown appeared shortly afterwards. This man went directly to Dawn, Emma and Mark, and thus redeemed the three from their eternal suffering of waiting.

"Misses Barlow?" The doctor carefully examined the attention of Dawn, but also of the other two, to win for himself.   
Sadly, with a slight tiredness in his bones, Dawn looked up to him, and when she saw who was standing in front of her, she suddenly grew lighthearted, and immediately asked, "What’s about my husband? Please ...please tell me he's not dead!"  
"Don’t worry. He lives! ...But his condition is unfortunately still extremely critical." The doctor finally started, trying to explain the following explanation as gently as he could, "I'd say I'll start with the obvious. In addition to his left shinbone and his right forearm, he has also drawn one or the other rib fracture, one of which now easily presses against his lungs. It wouldn’t have been absent a lot and the rib would have his lung can break through and injure critically. We were able to take the pressure on him, but a wrong movement still poses the risk of a breakthrough or even a slight injury to the lungs. ...On top of that, his spleen was badly affected. We had no choice but to remove them. The damage was too great. ..."  
"You have what?" Dawn suddenly interrupted his flow of speech with horror and tried to understand why Gary could easily get such an organ.  
"Keep calm. This isn’t as dramatic as you think. The spleen is not a vital organ. From now on, the liver will assume its tasks. ...Believe me, without a spleen he is better off. If we hadn’t removed this, it could lead to serious complications and I cannot imagine with the best will in the world that you really want to do this to him. ...Or?" The doctor told her that this kind of intervention was unavoidable, prompting Dawn to give him a big headshake as confirmation.  
"How bad is Gary really?" Mark said from fear that his friend might not be long alive.  
The doctor nodded at him briefly, then continued with his diagnosis: "Okay. Then we come to the more serious part. ...The hard impact on the asphalt has not only resulted in a severe brain chipping and a ugly head wound, but also a considerable loss of blood, which we are now trying to compensate for again. He has lost a lot of blood, but that doesn’t mean life-threatening. But in combination with his current situation, it looks a bit different. ...By the operation there were unfortunately complications where we had almost lost him on the table. It had been very tight. Whether we can get him back again is more than just questionable ...and since then he is in a coma! Because of the current depth, it is also difficult to say whether he will ever wake up again. They must believe me that I am so madly and sincerely sorry about what happened to him and that ...I can give you mostly bad news."

To this rather devastating diagnosis, Dawn, Emma and Mark were right out of all the clouds and simply didn’t believe what they had heard of the doctor. Quickly came naturally also the question on how long Gary probably would be in the coma. Days? Weeks? Months? Or maybe years? No. That just couldn’t be true. While Dawn was fighting with her composure, and she was already shedding tears, she was immediately consoled by two of her best friends.

"I'm sorry I cannot give you any better news. ...I'm sorry to say that he has to reckon with a possible late episode after a convalescence.", The doctor apologized again in the next sentence that he couldn’t say anything good about Gary's condition and offered Dawn to take her to her husband, "Come with me. ...I'll take you to him."

With Mark and Emma on her side, to give her any support, Dawn straightened up slowly and so the three of the doctor led to Gary.

 

After five eternally long minutes, they finally stood in front of the intensive care unit, where the doctor briefly stood and gave the three a few rules which they should follow in all circumstances and without recourse. Rules that said that no more than three people were allowed to be in Gary's room and that they had only limited right of visit. Despite the VIP status Gary held, he was still a man like anyone else who needed his time and rest now. A recovery now took time and that should get Gary now without ifs and buts.

To show the doctor that they had mastered the strict rules, Dawn, Emma and Mark nodded to him somewhat, then went under his leadership, in Gary's temporary sick-room. When Dawn saw Gary lying in bed, she freed herself from the supporting handles of Mark and Emma and hurried to get to her husband's side. Cautiously she sat down to him on the bed, took Gary's face in both hands and pressed a thick and long kiss on the forehead.

"Can ...can he hear me?" Dawn let go of her husband after a few seconds and wanted to know from the doctor in a trembling voice whether Gary was still able to perceive her in any way.  
"Talk to him quietly." The doctor nodded to her and could only advise Dawn to join Gary on a rather one-sided conversation, and finally pointed out that they adhere to the above-mentioned rules of the intensive care unit, "Even if he is in a coma that does not mean that his brain has stopped working. It is scientifically proven that one is in a coma, perceives its environment in some kind of the inter-spiritual level. So let him know calmly that he isn’t alone and that he should fight. ...And please remember, while he is still in the intensive care unit, he needs time for himself and knit rest."

Instead of trying to get an oral answer, Dawn nodded at him once more.

"All right then. ...I'll go then, I finally have other patients. But if what should be, call me or press this button. Okay?" The doctor had other obligations, which he now had to pursue and pointed out to the provisional farewell that they should turn to him in case of an emergency or if necessary also the necessary emergency button should operate.

 

Shortly after the doctor had left the room and the door behind him, Mark and Emma stepped to the other side of the bed with slow steps and mixed feelings, looking at their mutual friend, incoming. In Gary's sight, however, Mark fell into a slight indifference shortly afterwards and could no longer turn his gaze from it. In spite of the lower light conditions that prevailed at the moment, Mark didn’t get rid of the feeling that Gary had a much paler skin color than it had been before hours ago.

In any case, all the many cuts and scratches, which interspersed Gary's face with deep red color, were no longer bleeding and the strong contrast instantly made him feel that he was already in the grave with one leg. Gary really looked like his own corpse. But what was replaced by an even beep. But even the further sight left something to be desired. While the left leg and the right arm were almost concreted in a thick plaster band, some cables, which were each equipped with electrodes at the other end and thus transmitted the vital signs on a screen, led to various body sites. The tubes, on the other hand, terminated at Gary's left forearm, where he was supplied with a broadband antibiotic and, of course, also got new blood. In addition, there was the breathing mask over his mouth and nose, which Gary should support in his too weak breathing, which was not exactly an ornament.

After not even a minute was for Mark the whole but too much. He had to get out of here urgently and do this as quickly as possible. Because of the different emotions that were just cooking in him, Mark just didn’t know where his head was. Gary had to look like this now, and he still flinched with death, making him more ready than he confessed to himself. This gigantic vortex, which consisted only of chaos, was just about to break his inner self completely and to escape a complete destruction he first had to gain a good portion of Gary.

"I ...I have to get out of here." Mark stammered a little awkwardly, then instantly tearfully took his legs in his hand and stormed out of the room.  
"Mark!" Emma shouted after him briefly and fixed herself at his heels.

 

As soon as Mark had left the intensive care unit behind, he leaned on a free wall with his right shoulder and his eyes closed, trying to get a clear idea. After a few seconds, this was already the case. But this clear thought was to Howard and so Mark felt a rising rage, which he immediately left out in a free-standing chair. Actually, Mark wasn’t exactly known for the fact that he occasionally inclined to some outbursts of rage and yet he kicked out of full frustration and anger in one, now times against this one chair. After he had stepped off the chair in the way, Mark stood there, his hands on his face, and as Emma came, he was sobbing that Howard was the only one to blame.

"Hey. That's not how it goes, yeah. You cannot attack the property of others." Suddenly a rushing nurse was heard, who had followed the events.  
"I'm sorry." Mark said with a small voice sincerely for letting out his emotions at the hospital property, taking his hands off his face again.  
"From yours _I’m-Sorry_ , I can also buy to myself nothing. Next time, I will definitely demand damages from them and it will be shit to me who you are." The nurse was still furious at this activity and let Mark know, that he also didn’t push shut any public figures towards sometimes an eye.  
"Mark. What's wrong with you? So I don’t know you at all.", Emma hardly recognized her husband again and tried to persuade him that the one not present Howard was significantly unfair, "And besides. ...You cannot start to blame Howard on Gary's accident."  
"But I can. Whom should I give them? To the driver? I cannot and will not make him the guilty, since he could do nothing at all. ...The whole thing is clearly Howard's fault. He had practically thrown Gary out on the street!" Mark didn’t let him get puzzled by Howard's innocence.

It all had to be Howard's fault. For Mark there was nothing else in question. It was Howard's fault, not his own, as he was beginning to argue. Okay. Perhaps he had brought this terrible disaster in motion, but in the end, Howard was the one who turned it into a deadly avalanche. In addition, he also said that Gary wouldn’t be alive for a long time. If Gary were now really biting into the proverbial grass, it would be as smooth as an announced murder.

"What do you mean by that? Howard would never want to harm a friend. For that, he would be ..." Emma couldn’t understand a false debt assignment and wanted to know from Mark what was behind his last sentence and then was interrupted by this in the middle sentence.  
"There ...there was a quarrel. ...You know, we really wanted to meet to talk about TakeThat. Since it was not possible for us to put our thoughts into words at first, we had changed the subject and came to quickly mention Howard's upcoming wedding. ...You will not believe it, but Howard doesn’t even want to see Gaz and me at his own wedding party. He hadn’t planned sometimes us what to say. Only Jay alone was invited by us. What kind of friend is that?"  
"Well. Just as you said, it's his wedding and he can invite whom he wants."  
"That may be so. But you should have heard him when he gave the reason for it. Just because of Gary's and my popularity, he doesn’t want us to be there. As you can imagine, this statement had hit Gaz very hard. ...When the quarrel escalated, Gaz was still offended by Howard, pointing out to him, among other things that he wouldn’t have to live any longer! How underground is that? It is not said something like that. Not even in a fight. ...After that, Gaz is raging and more than just disappointed, and after I put my opinion on Howards head, I ran after him. We both had changed a few words, and then ...this terrible accident happened." Mark let her in a tear-stained voice know how the whole thing would happen and why Howard could be the only culprit in this hair-raising story.

After Mark had finally managed to return the events of the last few hours, he leaned against the wall and sank in the direction of the ground, where he then came across as a pile called Misery. The whole thing was just too much for him and was thus on the edge of a further nervous breakdown. With tears in his eyes, as well as a vanished and slowly chewing over his cheek, he let Emma know by the way that he wasn’t ready to lose such a good friend, as Gary was. Whereupon his wife only replied that it would not come so far and the Mark now had to be strong. Just for Gary.


	4. Now I Regret Every Word That Was Spoken

The hours passed, and so a rather eventful day slowly came to an end. In the early hours of the day, when the daylight had been in dire straits from the darkness of the night, paying her daily tribute, the news that "Pray for Gary Barlow - Take That singer struggles with Death" had already reached gigantic proportions and ran into all British media like an unstoppable run fire, which couldn’t even be tamed in the approach. As a result, the number of paparazzi grew to an unclear figure, where the staff of the affected hospital and the responsible security personnel weren’t made easy to keep, this bomber out of control. Everyone struggled to get any information they could about the current state of health of the singer. Therefore, it was almost a miracle that so far nothing had been pushed out. The rebellious press knew only that there had been a terrible car accident, where Mark was also a witness to it, and that Gary's life was threatening. But nothing’s more. Nobody knew about the circumstances outside the hospital. 

 

At that time, a certain Howard Donald was sitting at home with a very miserable temper, and he had a cup of tea poured from him afterwards, so that he could drown all the trouble and the lack of understanding. Instead of visiting his own home, he had somehow landed here. Whenever he had to struggle with himself or others, Howard knew that he could rely on this one special friend at any time and had more than one open ear for him. Even though he had already been sitting on his huge couch for a couple of hours and was simply using it, there had been hardly any real conversation between the two. He declared his presence solely on the grounds that there had been a dispute between him and the two remaining members of Take That, and that he wanted to know just a good friend at his side. What a friend immediately understood, and gave him his wish. But when the question arose, what had happened, Howard couldn’t express himself in any way, and thus wrapped himself in silence. Although he should know better, there was still a fear that told him that his counterpart had no understanding for his problem. ...He sat on the couch with a deep caress and a miserable mood, as he had long since stopped, staring at his recently emptied cup, where he apparently tried to read out any future from the tarries. 

"Hey. …Come on. Whatever may have happened between you, you cannot pout forever and just pull you back until grass is overgrown. You know Gaz and Mark quite long enough to know that the two are just waiting for you to return to them, apologize for whatever, and then put them together to get your problem out of the world." Howard suddenly got to hear from his friend that he really had to know how to behave.  
"They just left me alone. Not I them." Howard announced, his so-called friends didn’t take anything away from you, and left him alone.  
"Doug. I beg you. It cannot have been so easy now. Do you ever know what you're doing? You destroy not only a longtime friendship, but also ours..."  
"Let it be good. Okay? I just don’t want to talk about it, and the dispute also had something good, "Tell me, Jay, could I have another cup, please?" Howard interrupted his longtime friend and now even former band mates, hoping that he could get another cup of tea.

Then Jason Howard looked a little disappointed and expressed it also immediately, by once inhaling and breathing loudly. The fact that his older friend did not even want to tell him what was going on in the dispute gave him a cause for concern. So what could have happened, where Howard could say in a calm tone that this dispute had also been good and he didn’t have to take the first step so quickly? But as long as Howard was wrapped in an icy overcoat, silence, Jason had no other choice but to resign himself to it, giving him just the boyfriend whom Howard was looking for.

"Of course." Jason said, nodding at the request for another cup of tea.

 

With these words, Jason took the cup that was holding him, got up, and then went straight to the kitchen. While he put on new water and brought to the cooking, his thoughts glided to Gary and Mark over here and asked itself what they had moved in addition after a quarrel to break up and why it had to happen just now. So shortly after his exit. He had not only gone because the music no longer filled him and longed for a normal life but also because he had the belief that the three had the potential to keep up the flame of Take That even as a trio. No matter if five, four or even three, their success story was far from being told. With his exit, the three survivors should only write another and exciting chapter in their incredible band history and not, for whatever reason, because of a possible stupid quarrel, finally end all and seriously question their friendship. No. Jason had not imagined the whole thing. He simply wanted to be proud of his three friends, and to pursue his journey with Take That, wherever it may be, as a happy normal citizen. Although it was very much afterwards that he was able to wrinkle it once and for all, he knew that this quarrel between the three wouldn’t last forever. For this they liked too much. Among brothers, it was now customary to argue occasionally. Some thirty years, when they were all in the old age, and together thought of their glorious days, they would surely be able to laugh at every small quarrel.

When the water boiler told Jason, with a fairly clear click, that the water had reached the boiling point and thus cooked, before his eyes this image of a beautiful vision of the future arose, which moved him to a light smile. With a small round smile on his face, he filled the empty cup of Howard with new and freshly boiled water and then added a bag of chamomile tea. So Jason took the ready-made cup and was about to leave the kitchen until suddenly, from the quietly running radio, where the tuned station had recently played their song _Pray_ , he now heard that the Take That singer Gary Barlow had a heavy car accident and he was fighting for his life. On this shocking news, Jason could only remain frozen and drop the now too heavy cup to the ground, where the same could be exploded in several shards and the contents spilled over the kitchen floor. No. This couldn’t be true now.

"Jay? What was that? ...Is everything all right?" Howard's voice came out of the living room, which had perceived the quite noisy clank more than clearly, and at the same time asked what was going on.

But Jason did not return. He just stood there and stared into the void. Jason did not know why, but somehow he was instantly afraid of Gary having already succumbed to his injuries, so his last big journey was much too early. Thus his well-thought-out picture of the future got a considerable rift, where it was shortly before the final destruction. But before this destruction was ever-present, he let himself be led by Howard's voice, who, after a felt eternity, asked what was going on a second time, from the darkness, and went back to the side of the light. As soon as his brain switched back to the usual work, Jason responded accordingly, and told his friend that he should turn on the TV immediately. But Howard did not do the same. As a justification, he meant only that he didn’t want to watch TV, and on the other hand, he feared that the faces of his two well-known friends might be flickering on the screen. On which he did not feel sometimes the slightest desire. 

"My God. Doug." Jason could only reply, and just didn’t understand why his longtime good friend suddenly turned so crosswise.

No matter what may have happened between the three, as soon as he saw in the news what had happened a few hours before, he would certainly think differently about it. Certainly.

In the second, Jason found himself on the side of Howard again, he immediately took the remote control, and switched on the corresponding terminal, which in the same breath, the last viewed channel reproduced. As luck would have it, you could read the letters BBC News in a corner. 

 

Since Jason already knew already by the radio already around the horror news, he hung with his froze at the same time on the lips of the newsreader and listened as spellbound, what had happened around noon. Howard, on the other hand, read the headline of Gary's accident over and over again, until he felt the sensation of what he had been like for an idiot, and he was as white as a wall. An abyss ravine appeared before him, where, shortly afterwards, he was thrown by an invisible force and swallowed by an indescribable darkness. From that moment, Howard felt something so bad that it tore him right. Even his last words, which he had thrown to his head before his disappearance, now he felt more sorry for him than anything else.

_\- That's what I've been doing anyway, and you're a selfish, self-indulgent asshole from a mocked and brainless joke figure that is just about to bite into the grass, you better do it by going out of my eyes and staying away from my wedding! -_

As soon as he had recalled these words, he was immediately maltreated by them. God. How could he say that? What predecessor of the devil had driven him to put such words into his mouth at all, and throw them completely unrestrained at Gary's head? To insult someone in such a rough way, and then also to show him his early death, was really what for the bottom drawer and simply said ...unpardonable. Especially, if one had a lot for this one person and was actually more than anything else at heart.

"I ...I have to go to him." Howard said whisperingly.  
"Wouldn’t it be better if we waited for something? I mean, just look at this urge." Jason pointed out with a simple gesture toward the TV, so that the hundreds of paparazzi blocked all the entrances and thus, at least apparently, couldn’t be thought of as a passing through.  
"And what if he's already dead? No. Now. ...I... I have to go to him now." Howard suddenly began to stutter with aggravated breathing.  
"Listen to Doug. I can quite understand that you want to go right away and look for what Gary really is. It is no different to me, but we have to keep our peace now, even if it is difficult for us. It doesn’t make much difference if we go crazy and see Gary practically as dead. He is not. Okay? Please. Don’t let the Devil out on the wall." Jason gave himself the greatest trouble to keep quiet and tried to get Howard to the same breath that he was not allowed to get too much into it now and that their mutual friend couldn’t bless as soon as the time.  
"To keep calm? A friend of mine, who is also yours, could die at any time, and there I shall not worry? ...Do you ever know what the last thing was I said to him? I have thrown him to the head that he is a selfish, self-indifferent asshole of a mocked and brainless joke-figure and ...that he is just about to bite into the grass!"  
"You have what? You're not serious, are you?"  
"Unfortunately yes."  
„And can you also betray to me please sometimes, finally what it should have been in this quarrel about?“  
"It doesn’t matter now. I have wished Gaz practically the death to the neck and now he lies on account of my words seriously injured and half dead in the hospital. ...I don’t know how you see it, but it's much more important to know how it is about my buddy than explaining what we've been fighting." Howard didn’t want to talk about the fight so as only to get on the side of his dying friend.

To apologies for his choice of words to him. That he couldn’t now take the path to his Creator. ...That he wanted to have him at his wedding.

With all the many thoughts that floated around in his head, he tried to assemble the right words for a quite emotional speech, with which he could later sincerely meet and apologize to Gary. But for that he had to get there and get a way through the masses to Paparazzi, although the latter wasn’t easy to carry out. But if he had the choice to move between any wannabe photographers or crazy female fans, he would probably be content with the paparazzi. There he was much more interested in discovering a bad picture of himself in some newspaper than to catch the eye of a freaked fan. Although, as Howard thought about it, he hadn’t earned it otherwise. He wanted only one thing. ...To stand on Gary's side and apologize for every shit he had thrown at his head.

That this all Howard drove so much from the track and made him more than obviously a purely nervous wreck, Jason had not expected so now. So it came to his mind that behind their quarrel was something more personal than any views as to the future of Take That. It couldn’t be otherwise. Because when it was about the band itself, his reaction would be quite different and would be a bit more open, too. But as soon as Howard switched on the passage and lowered his head to run his bull horns against the next wall, it was quite difficult to get him down again. The only thing you could do was wait. Wait until he was ready to talk with him and, if necessary, to look for a solution. But what soon became a rupture test of one's own patience. Sometimes it was also quite necessary that Howard needed much more time than you thought at first, and let his fellow men embark on a journey in his personal vortex of madness, where a question arose afterwards how long that may be. But before Jason was in danger of getting caught up in the vortex, he finally gave in and let his friend know with a nod that he wouldn’t ask any more. In the same breath, he reached for his jacket and signaled to him that they were to leave now.


	5. Trouble With Me

The trip to the hospital turned out to be quite tough, and some of them felt that this could not have happened any faster. However, what should one already expect if became a time driven off where the everyday rush-hour traffic accepted just her last climax and was therefore completely going? This was more than just forgiven life. Because Jason sat at the wheel and tried therefore to bring his car healthy by the thick end of work traffic, Howard was several times briefly before it from the half standing and moving carriage to jump and to put back with it the remaining distance on foot. With every single minute it passed, he became more and more worried and had to be able to keep visibly problems anyhow under control. What itself escaped Jason by no means. All along his seat neighbor with the catching on his right thigh drummed around and brought him with it slowly indeed around the mind. Sometime it became for Jason too much and required from this to omit immediately. On the speech that this would not help now also around to make headway faster Howard took to himself the biggest trouble his nervousness to prevent anyhow. 

Finally, after a felt eternity two friends appeared before the aforesaid hospital, at the sight of from all many paparazzi, they immediately let assume that it will be not quite easy around to walk in there generally. By this active crowd and of course on account of the human curiosity, the traffic also collected accordingly and consequently thus there was no coming through. But neither Howard nor Jason thought it possible to assume such dimensions. It went even so far that several policemen had to regulate the traffic. When they were sometime with one of those in eye level, Jason wound his window under it and asked with this carefully whether it gave away there generally a sure one to be able to enter the hospital regardless of. As a result he got a gruff comment to hear where one said in it that he should simply go on and which gave to see here purely nothing at all. On the reply that they had to go there absolutely purely the policeman wanted to go just with his constant speech and reprimand the both with a strict look, while this put his head almost already in the inside of the car. At the sight of from Howard and Jason, the young man fell silent presently and seemed to think at the same moment about something. Shortly after he let know both friends that there was a side entrance where currently the least paparazzi were and she pointed therefore to a colleague further who could allow certainly a somewhat sure access to boys. …What was also granted to them, finally.

 

About twenty minutes later, Howard and Jason, with the help of an extraordinary and friendly policeman, were able to gain access to this hospital and finally found themselves inside. Under the guidance of a nurse, they finally hurried down the corridors to the Intensive Care Unit, where Howard and Jason met the familiar faces right away. After those last and a little bit pale faces to judge, it was not difficult to guess that it stood Gary more than obviously exceptionally badly. However, before one of the newcomers came generally to the standing position and also could lose only one word, became to Howard like out of a clear sky out and without any advance warning, an uncontrollable fury playful. 

While he was pushed by rather angry Mark more than rudely to ground, this shouted at him that he had to search here purely nothing at all and that he should disappear right away. Before Mark could still go one step further, however and become violent towards Howard, Jason went presently in between and would keep him from doing something what he would regret sometime with absolute security. Besides, also came that Mark of his forces shouldn’t waste to Howard. Whatever had happened between them that it wasn’t simply worth. So Jason Mark would hold back behind him and gave himself the greatest effort to pull him away from Howard and keep them, if necessary, at a distance.

"Let me go, Jay. I want that this dirty swine gets a thrashing. He deserved it. ...Only because of him this awful accident has happened. He has thrown Gaz practically on the street. He has forecast his death. …He has killed him!“ Mark cooked in of all emotions high and required from Jason that he should let go him.  
"Say that is not true now? ...Don’t tell me that Gaz has already departed this life.“ Mark's words were so in Jason's ears that Gary had meanwhile passed away and turned his little friend around one hundred and eighty degrees until he looked into his eyes could.

With tears in his eyes, Mark looked down at the ground and didn’t know how to begin. Only after a felt eternity did he finally find the power to shake his head, at least, whispering a small and quiet "No". After Mark had brought this one more than releasing word over his thin lips, which was only audible for Jason, he felt a heavy load fall from his shoulders and he could breathe a little relieved. For a very short moment, he had really seriously thought that Gary was no longer among them and was lying somewhere in a freezer that was not even worthy of his.

From Howard's perspective, however, everything looked quite different. After Mark's head-shaking and judging Jason's reaction, it came to him that Gary had lost the battle for survival. At the same moment where he became a white like a wall and perceived a suddenly appearing icy emptiness this struggled on his more than ramshackle legs and wanted with it only one. To proceed to the side of his friend presumed dead. 

„No. No. … I have to go to him.“ Howard contacted this without being asked with an at first weak and occupied voice to word on which she accepted, however, finally a substantially more firm sound. 

As soon as he found himself on his own two feet again, he was attacked again by a whirling Mark and again pushed to the ground.

"No. Forget it. I do not want you to even get a step too close to Gaz." Mark wanted to stop him at all costs because he didn’t even put a foot into the intensive care unit, and Jason was clutching him back behind him.  
"But I just want to ..."  
"You will not see him, and if only at a distance of fifty meters!" Mark interrupted this presently and drew up with it quite a new side of himself, while he handed over Howard a demand, to keep he from now on and absolutely result should perform.  
"Fifty meters?"  
"Do you have parsley in your ears, or what? Yes. Fifty meters. At least ...and not an inch closer."  
"Mark. Please. I...."  
"What is so difficult to understand it now? That’s quite easy. If you don’t want us to be on your stupid wedding, then I don’t want you to get too close to one of us and particularly Gaz. So, now clear out, finally and disappears. I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore." Mark clarified his point of view to the older man and explained to him that he was more than anything else unwanted.  
Visibly shocked by the fact that Mark wanted to ban him to such an enormously high safety distance and didn’t want to know anything about him anymore, Howard looked up at this and looked at him that he stood behind every single spoken word. That neither friend nor enemy could bring him to change. There will be no shaking. But how could he get to Gary's side to make sure that a friend of him was still among the living and that it was a good thing if Mark looked like a lynx at least fifty meters away? Okay. In a sense, he could understand why Mark didn’t want him in Gary's vicinity, but this safety gap was simply not fair. Fifty yards were decidedly too long. With five or, if need be, up to ten meters, he might still be alive. ...But not with fifty.

 

As soon as Jason finally heard the long-sighted words, which clearly expounded the reason for their dispute, he also understood why Howard was sitting in silence. Obviously, he feared that he would not understand his dilemma, and thus unfairly condemned and, as the case may be, banished Mark. The fact that Howard wanted to have his wedding in the small circle, he already knew, but Gary and Mark sometimes on his guest list didn’t stand, was new for him and Jason owned there already such a notion, why Howard had not noted the both his guest list. He was able to understand both sides, but he couldn’t and didn’t want to decide for one. Even the controversy in itself, who’s would now be able to attend the festive circumstances and attend was, in his eyes there was something ...bizarre.

"Wait a moment. This is why it goes in your dispute? That Howard will not have you or Gaz on his wedding?"  
"And? To you this can make no difference safely, because you stand on his guest list completely on top and were noted even as a best man.“  
"But that isn’t a reason for you to take him so hard now and blame him for Gary's accident. As for that, Howard did not blame himself at all. ..."  
"Oh yes? Then tell it Gary. Do you ever know what the last thing that he has thrown at his head?"

On this question, Jason could only see the immediate eye contact with Howard and while he told Mark that he already possessed the knowledge, he also felt as if he was in an unstoppable and free fall. Okay. In this one point, Mark was right. This one last sentence, Howard could not have said. But in retrospect it was also wrong for Mark, that he pushed all the confessions simply to the elders in this round. Well. Howard with his kind could sometimes become a little strenuous and fire out given if about the aim, but for the real accident he was able to do purely nothing at all. This was simply a more than unfortunate coincidence. 

„There you see it. This has started everything with it and now exactly so Gary is in a coma also. The doctors not even know whether he one day again will wake. One thing I tell you, if Gaz doesn’t survive this, then this bastard here has practically killed him with announcement. His own friend. ...His own brother.", Mark suddenly began to scream loudly, his voice drowned in the end, even in his swallowed tears, "And we wanted nothing more than to be invited to his wedding."  
"Now listen, Mark. I can understand you and Gaz very well that you both want to be very happy. But as you have already said, this is his wedding and he can now invite whom he wants. ...As I know, the whole thing is to take place with the closest confidants and family members. ..."  
„Say immediately that we don’t belong anymore longer to the family and are also no more brothers. But still he should have at least the eggs to say it one. …He had never planned it unload us officially. Never.“  
„We are still like brothers and will remain it also always, you must simply respect his decision. Something like this happens in the best families, even ..."  
„It was clear that you take his side and don’t come to me now with the argument that even in the case of Joseph and Maria, the house-blessing hung down, just because the degree of recognition of Jesus beat ever higher waves and felt it more than macabre, that he had foretold his own death. ...That doesn’t matter." Mark had already an inkling with which argument Jason could now come around the corner and thereby to remind him that there had been such disputes since the beginning of mankind and let this know immediately in the same breath, for which reason Howard wanted to keep her away from his wedding. "And at all, do you really know what reason he came to humiliate us with his rejection? This bastard doesn’t want to have Gaz and me seriously and that’s because of our higher popularity."  
"First of all, I stand on nobody's side and secondly, you must actually know that Doug is not exactly on any kind of vortex. There I can already understand him, why he doesn’t want to have both to you and thirdly, I haven’t even known that he has such thoughts at all. What is so difficult to accept it now? I mean, after all, you have respected even my decision that I any more the wish don’t have to take up another record. So where is your problem?"  
"You know exactly what is different, and besides, as I have already said, he had never told us what to say. When it came out this morning by chance, he doesn’t have to offend one badly at the same time and then throw this person practically onto the street. ...Have you ever experienced how it is like when one of your best friends is crossed by a car right in front of your eyes? So, stop talking to me that I am currently too much of my emotions lead and therefore is not even able to form an objective opinion. It would certainly not happen to you otherwise."  
"No. I have not. ...But Mark, you cannot ban Howard to a safety distance of fifty yards. If you ask me is decidedly too long and is also not fair to him. …Okay. He shouldn’t have insulted Gaz so badly and badly that he could die soon, and that's why I can understand that you're not going to talk well to Howard and you'd rather chase him. ...But I beg of you Mark, remit to him at least thus about forty-five meters. He wants only to see Gaz once to make sure that he is doing well and still lives among the living. No more. ...I promise you that he will stay away from you and Gary in the near future." Jason then appealed to Mark's conscience that he thought about it again with the safety distance and gave to Howard with it the chance his seriously injured friend at least once saw.  
"No. From me you can go to him, but he cannot. One thing I'll tell you as soon as he gets a step too close to Gaz, one of the fifty will quickly get a hundred meters and I not even want, how long Gary’s stay may also last here that he enters this hospital. …What is called if he has not disappeared during the next ten minutes from here, the staff will not only see something, but will also get a new patient!" Mark did not let himself be confused and only wanted Howard to finally dilute himself and thus disappeared from the image surface.

 

Mark only wanted to know him as far as possible from Gary and, of course, himself. Howard could still be glad that he limited his safety distance, which he should observe as soon as possible from this moment, only to fifty and not three hundred meters, as he had initially thought. No. There will be no further reduction in any case. As for that, he had been more than gracious enough to him. The fifty meters remained and no one would be able to talk out it of him. Not even Robbie, even if he were here now.

Robbie. ...No sooner did Mark have to think of his best mate, who had always been there for him, and had sincerely stood aside, so now he wanted nothing more than anything else. He needed a friend who understood not only his dilemma, but also one of him by the way strengthens his back. If he were here, he would certainly do it. Without any doubt. But Robbie was currently in the United States and had quite different things in his mind, which now occupied his full concentration. Calling him back to England now was a thing of absolute impossibility. It simply did not go. Sure. As soon as he realized that Gary's life was on knifes edge after a heavy car accident, he would certainly leave everything behind and want to take the next flight to London. This was as safe as the Amen in the church. But at the moment that was something he couldn’t ask of him. Finally his wife Ayda needed him there, as she was expecting her second child in the coming time. No. This was anyway an event which he might not keep from Robbie.

Mark, without a proper friend by his side, stood completely alone. Of course, that wasn’t something against Emma, but he needed someone who could fully understand him and could also feel it to him. ...Somebody like Robbie.


	6. Hearts beat, desperately

After Jason Gary had paid a very short visit and Howard had received a rather juicy ear from Dawn at this time, the two friends went straight home and, of course at Mark's command, disappeared temporarily from the scene. What gave Mark a certain relief. It was hard enough for him to realize that one of his best friends was now in this hospital by another friend and had to fight for his life. He'd been so close to beating Howard for his unfair behavior toward Gary. But that he hadn’t done it, not only was Jason holding him off, but much more of his inexperience. In his life so far, he never really came into contact with such beatings. Neither as one of them let it matter, nor in the so-called victim roll. What he was actually proud of. Because since he could think, he lived with the motto that a simple smile was enough to leave a good impression with his fellow human beings. A smile, which really made every heart melt with the local ladies out of there, young or old. Just like today, as well as back then. But now the smile had gone over to him more than thoroughly. One of his alleged friends had actually induced him to let this spell disappear for an indefinite time. The last time, however, which was now around the four years, he was responsible for it. It had been a mistake high ten, which he wouldn’t commit today. Since he certainly didn’t want to recall his past and the greatest mistake of his life ever Mark quickly slipped back into the reality, where he was still somehow still in his own way.

 

Further hours passed and the hands of an exceedingly large and unavailable watch advanced to the twelve for an eternity. One such as Dawn and Mark were still in the hospital. Somehow neither of the two found the approach to a single meter from Gary. The feeling that there was a bad news at all times, if not within a second, and where it was said that Gary could succumb to his injuries, they simply didn’t let to go. The fear that more than a loved one did not survive the coming night was quite big. Although Emma's worries about Gary were the same, she didn’t have much time to clear the field. Alone because of her three children, the youngest daughter was just two years old. In addition, there was one like Daniel, Emily and Daisy, Gary's children, who had already made themselves the very greatest fear for their father, shouldn’t be left alone too long in these circumstances. But since Dawn was currently able to tear herself apart from her husband, she quickly came up with the suggestion that Emma simply took the three with her. For which Dawn was very grateful to her and to this proposal was a little relieved.

After a very good girlfriend and wife in one had gone, Mark and Dawn gave each the support, which could use both in the next few hours certainly well. So far there had never been anything bad happening, where they had ever had to worry about the life of a loving man ...and yet it had happened. The protective bubble around they, which had grown so bloated, and thus had only an extremely thin layer, was about to burst and threatened to destroy their entire world forever. Although none of the two were so faithful and the coming night was still long, they then began to pray that Gary survived this. He had to do it, and just as God's Mark's prayers had obviously been heard, he let him in the middle of the night a call that was none other than Robbie. Although Mark had already guessed that this would call him sooner or later. Sure. Actually, he could have called him himself or at least sent a text message, but due to a highly pregnant and almost pending Ayda, Mark didn’t want to confront his mate with such a horror message. No. Robbie should rather concentrate on the imminent birth of his son, than to be afraid that one of his best friends might step out of life in the near future. It was bad enough that one of his oh so good and close friends had been responsible for this terrible disaster here, not quite innocent and thus in a certain sense responsible. His phone call with Robbie, which of course was only about Gary's accident and who wanted to find out more than absolutely, how it was about this really and, of course, Mark himself, took a good two hours and gave the called finally The feeling that his inner self had already demanded all the time. The understanding of his own, and personal dilemma. For so far, he had only received this full hundred percent approvals from Dawn. What was sad anyway. While he was still strong eighty-five percent of his own wife, Jason gave him only fifty, and as far as Howard was concerned, Mark didn’t even want to start thinking about this bastard, and besides, the words about Gary were talking about a regular volume and a story, which Mark couldn’t easily ignore. This one conversation with Robbie really did him good and finally brought his little body a certain calm, which he also needed more than urgently. As soon as they had finished their call, he felt a little better. The whole burden, which until recently had been lying on his rather narrow shoulders, was taken away by a good portion by his best friend. Only the fear of Gary tormented him to the worst, and so Mark felt the worst emptiness he'd ever felt in his life. Somehow, until recently, he was still of the absolute opinion that the worst was already behind him and so he was then but one thing better.

 

Other hours went by, and while Mark and Dawn intermittently went to the side of their husband or friend, the condition of Gary remained almost unchanged and so the two still wandered in a very dark and cold labyrinth, which didn’t even give them the slightest indication where the only exit was here. If there was one at all. Although this entire drama was now almost twenty-four hours ago, neither Mark nor Dawn had the necessary peace to reconcile their self with the fact that Gary was involved in an ugly car accident, and that, as it looked, it wouldn’t be possible to wake up again. As long as the doctors didn’t give an all-clear, they were still gripped by an icy hand called fear, with a gigantic gloomy emptiness spreading in their hearts and not even returning the two in the least. It was quite futile to fight it, and there was no other choice but to take it from this fear and to lead it through a very difficult time. 

By the time of noon, everything continued to be quiet, and neither Mark nor Dawn could gain any new insights into the future of Gary. It was something unbearable. This whole waiting brought they right around the mind. When the little pointer, which’s had prevailed to the three, found two new visitors, who wanted to see Gary all too gladly. Daniel and Emily. Gary's children. That Daisy had not been there, Dawn thought it was more than sensible. She was definitely much too young for that, so she shouldn’t see her father until he had to fight for his own life and decided to wake up again. Especially since it was known to Dawn that children up to a certain age limit were not even in the intensive care unit and the doctors were actually reluctantly seen. Which’s was somehow absolutely understandable. Because even the sight of Gary, although this now by the blood transfusion a little better looked, could develop with his youngest daughter with among other things to a problem that should be strangled immediately in the bud. Daniel and Emily, on the other hand, could decide for themselves if they wanted to see their father in a very questionable state or not.

After Daniel and Emily had paid a brief visit to their father, because of fear of a disconsolate future it was poured one or other tears and the doctors immediately looked more closely at Gary's state of health or less slowly a certain rest. The singer was still on his one way trip to the final station of his life, but whether Gary would ever be able to jump off again from this deadly train remains uncertain. No one could even say how this drama was going.

 

While a more than difficult period of time continued into the interior of the country, with days becoming weeks or so, for such a thing as Dawn and Mark, in this whole goddamned story, a certain degree of normality gradually came, leaving the two of them a little bit to the hospital more bearable. They still lived with the fear that Gary could never wake up again, but since this ugly accident and the subsequent fall into coma, nothing had happens and the remaining condition remained completely unchanged. Even if this was currently considered as stable, but that did not mean that he would wake up in the next days from his coma. For it was still quite possible that Gary's heart came to a standstill instantly, and whether he then had a resurrection reconciled with him and survived this was more than questionable. ...And the unequal couple clung to the longest straw that they could ever find. That any of their hopes for Gary's life were not wasted. 

When the third week started, and while only this very late hour of the night Mark, as a visitor, was jostling with his presence here in this hospital, there was almost an icy silence in the whole building But not even in the least disturbed. But on the contrary, he even greeted it. For as long as it remained quiet, there was no reason for him to make any thoughts about the fact that his friend could disappear sooner or forever from this world. By agreeing with Dawn, that at least one of them should always remain in Gary's vicinity, he had voluntarily accepted the late shift. Among other things also, so that he could calmly think about how his future life should look. This more than terrible accident showed him that fate could actually intervene at any time, and so he was now thinking about his own mortality. He didn’t have the same fears as Gary had, but nevertheless Mark made the most worries from night to night of what he left in the world. Sure, in contrast to his more than friendly band mates, he had in his opinion less to lose and yet Mark didn’t even give the slightest in his life so far. No matter what it was. Neither his family, the music, nor his friends. As for the latter, he wondered whether he should include Howard or not. After all, the older man had not been completely innocent of this whole disaster.

With the thought of whether he should give him a second chance, stood Mark, after a while, up from his rather comfortable sitting position and shuffled slowly and with leisurely steps toward the coffee machines to pull another and now his fifth cup. As soon as he had disappeared around the next corner, one could quickly see a large shadow outside his angle of view, which simply hovered past him and entered the intensive care unit completely unseen. After the door to this area again fell automatically and quietly into the lock, of this mysterious shadow was then nothing more to be seen.

 

Somewhere in the intensive care unit itself, another door was opened, and in the same quiet way, immediately again. A tall man in a white doctor's gown stood in a patient's room and took a more or less long and determined look at the sleeping person before he finally dared to go to his side. As soon as he was standing right next to the bed, he sat down at the edge and looked at him more than he could. His counterpart, in this pale light, didn’t look very healthy. All the many cables, tubing, and the respiratory mask over mouth and nose, supported this still more than unsightly aspect. Sometimes, quite apart from the concreted left leg and the right arm.

"God. What I’ve done?" A whispered voice asked himself what he had conjured up, and thus brought him a more than close person on the brink of death.

Shortly after the man had taken his hand into his own, he whispered with his slightly rough voice that he had never wanted it so, and that he hated himself for it: "The whole thing really makes me more than sincere and infinitely sorry. You have to believe me. If I ...I... I would have known what my words would do, my word choice would have been quite different and this terrible accident would never have happened. ...Moreover, it wasn’t my intention to humiliate you and to offend you in a subterranean way. You don’t know how I hate myself and how I wanted nothing more than anything else to change our roles. That I'm lying here and not you. ...After all, you're only for my sake and because of my words here. Please believe me, I really didn’t want that. For this, our friendship means too much to me. To know you is with the best that could ever happen to me. If you were to die now, I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I ...I... I just want you to wake up again and come to my wedding with Mark in a few months. Please, Gaz. All this really makes me feel more than endlessly sorry. I am aware of the fact that the moment is too much is required, but it would be nice if I would get at least a small sign from you. ...So I know you're heard me and if you've accepted my apology."

After Howard had finally managed to get past Mark, to sneak into the intensive care unit, put him on Gary's bed, and finally, with an extremely trembling and slightly tearful voice, to put him to an official excuse to bring it to an end, he still felt no better. As long as Gary was in a coma and nobody knew how it was about his future, it was especially difficult for him to accept that he didn’t get an answer. Out of sheer despair, to get at least a small tone or a telltale sign from Gary, he grabbed him awkwardly on the shoulders and tried to come to a possible reaction by shaking.

"Come on, Gaz. I know you can hear me. …Please. ...Give me at least something, so I can feel myself a little better."

But it didn’t help. There was no sign of Gary ...until suddenly a long, monotonous and bright beep filled the entire room, which in Howard's ears left more than an exceedingly terrible echo and was thus repeated without interruption. Oh God. What in the name of Heaven had Howard re-arranged? Although he actually knew what that meant, he still gave a quick look at one of the monitors, whereupon Gary's heartbeat was recorded and now only a long line was to be seen. Panic rose. Fearing that he might have given one of his best friends the final death penalty, Howard immediately took his legs in his hands and stormed, with one arm in front of his face and the hope that he couldn’t be recognized, right out of the room. When he left the intensive care unit himself, he almost came across Mark. ...But just almost.

 

After Mark was almost overwhelmed by a doctor who had suddenly rushed out, he looked briefly at him until something completely different aroused all his attention, and a sudden anxiety began to turn his already slightly rigid gaze backwards. Direction intensive care unit. From the now almost inaudibly more than just hectic voices was heard and where a very definite word loudly and clearly penetrated his ears. Barlow. Mark was about to enter the station in front of him when, in the next second, a hospital bed, with Gary inside, and where a piece of tubing had stuck out of his chest, came around the corner, and immediately from the nurses and doctors present, in record time, was pushed into the nearby operating room. White as a wall, and completely shocked at what he was seeing and thus making him incapacitated, Mark looked after them until the automated door slid silently into the lock, and then, just so, without any mercy, in a high emotional state.


	7. Wake Up, It’s A Brand New Day

As soon as Gary and Mark once again parted the icy door of silence, as well as those of eternal waiting, all the tears shot out of the eyes of the latter, which he could no longer keep to himself. This terrible fear that his friend was now really divorced from Earth and thus could have blessed the temporal brought him now much more upset than he had been in the accident. All this just had to be a bad nightmare from which he wanted to, as soon as possible and finally wake up. But unfortunately it was not like that. This whole story here corresponded to the absolute reality that hurt immensely. Accordingly, Mark already saw himself standing in front of Gary's grave and mourning more than a good friend ...and finally collapsing for good measure.

As he remembered on the doctor's words, which stated that the success of resuscitation was questionable, and that Gary could step out of his life with it, the tearful collapse of this world also followed. All that couldn`t be true now. Gary could not leave his world so early. No. Although Mark knew it was a lifetime of misery, he clung to himself-as if it were a matter of his own life, of the tiny percentage of hope that Gary could escape certain death, and made as many prayers for Heaven as if it had it was the last thing he could do. But one of them took the wrong direction and thus Mark sent only a demigod in white. Since the singer was already finished with the world anyway and everything turned around him once again, he was grabbed by a doctor right at the shoulders and let him lead him back to the couch. As soon as Mark had taken a seated position, he sank into his own person more and more and seemed like an eternal shadow of himself. From somewhere and as if by magic, the doctor suddenly held a plastic cup with water in his hand and handed it to him wordlessly to Mark. With a shaky hand and a barely audible thank you, he finally accepted it, sobbing. 

"Even if the chances are bad that Mr. Barlow will not survive the coming hour, there’s still one percent left to do a miracle. The medicine is really very complex and absolutely unpredictable. What can really make scares someone. The nature is cruel and holds close to death for just about every living being in the world. Only, we humans are the only ones who knows that and have to try the best to handle with it. Even if it is difficult. Sooner or later it will hit everyone. ...Depending on what God is going to do with one... and who knows, maybe he will do the miracle and his time down here is not over yet." The doctor tried to make Mark courage that not everything was in vain and thus most of the time a tiny chance, called miracle, existed. 

Mark only nodded tiredly, but the fear for his friend was still tormenting him and that to the point. He really wanted to be optimistic, but somehow he could not do that right now. Only when he was sure that Gary accomplished the miracle and survived in the following hour, he also found himself quite able to believe again. That there was still a future for Gary. But as long as this future was still uncertain and did not look good at the moment, it proved more than difficult for Mark. 

 

About an hour later, when Mark had calmed down a little, one of the wide doors slid quietly to one side and as a doctor emerged in a hurry, the current leading ward doctor, who was on Mark's side all the time had instantly taken a straight stance. He immediately asked his colleague what Gary was about. Actually, he could all the time just go into the observation room to the said operating room and thus even to inquire about the current state of affairs. But due to the fact that Mark had needed a person to talk to and he didn’t want to shock Dawn with a terrifying message in the middle of the night, he simply stayed by the side of the singer for the sake of simplicity. At his question, the answer was about Gary barely escaping death, and he was now in a much deeper coma than he was before.

When Mark heard the redemptive words that Gary had indeed accomplished the miracle and thus clearly belonged to the happy one percent, he breathed audibly and immediately began to draw new hope. His faith had returned. But he did not come around, sending a message of thanks in the direction of heaven and therefore also to God. The following conversation between these two doctors, which’s mainly about just about any medical stuff, got Mark hardly any more and just wanted one more. See Gary. Even though the one doctor had announced the good news about Gary's continued whereabouts in the world, he wanted and had to be convinced by himself. He needed the sole protection. So Mark couldn’t wait any longer to finally get to Gary's side. Even if it there was only for a minute. Mark just had to see him. In the second, where his name fell and Mark woke up from his indifference, the singer blinked several times in the direction of the doctor who had spoken to him and looked at him expectantly. Shortly thereafter, he was grabbed by the one doctor by the shoulder and led him with the words, "Come on. Surely you want to see your friend.", in the direction of intensive care.

 

After half a minute, Mark finally stood by his friend's side again and regarded him with deep worry lines. Even though Gary just escaped certain death, he still did not look alive. This pale complexion - as he had once had here at the delivery and this recently fresh covered surgical scar - where recently still a piece of hose or whatever it may have been and was thus seen, Mark didn’t like at all. Not to mention that the previously existing breathing mask over the mouth and nose, was replaced by a tube and thus led into Gary's lungs. It was a sight that made him to think.

"How ...how could that possibly happen? I thought Gary's condition would be reasonably stable." Mark then wanted to know how it could happen.  
"Actually, he was it too. In addition, a lung does not collapse by itself. It must already be based on damage, but most of the time it happens in the case of external acts of violence. As in…"  
"I already know that. A ...a former friend of mine had already had that.", Mark interrupted the doctor immediately, because he did not really want to hear what the real cause in the looked exactly, but much more about the big Why if Gary but actually in one dormant and stable position, "I mean, how can this be? The last few days, if not even one day after his arrival here, had not changed his condition. How ...so how can it be that he...?"  
"Now I understand what you mean. Well, I agree with you. That's pretty unusual. So for me, only two solutions come into question, either he woke up and made a wrong move or your friend was carelessly misled into one. And since I think the former is unlikely because of the depth of his coma, I suppose the runaway guy had something to do with it."  
"The guy? You mean the doctor who almost knocked me over?"  
"That was not a doctor, I'm absolutely sure. ...I'm afraid that was one of the paparazzi who stole a frock to make some exclusive pictures of Mr. Barlow. Besides, I would not be surprised to get the perfect picture that he changed his position and what ultimately led to a wrong move." The doctor immediately searched for a possible explanation, which could also be so correct.

Focusing on this more than imaginable yet logical theory, Mark narrowed his eyes for a moment and had to sit down first. All of that could not to be true. Why couldn’t anyone see Gary as a normal person who had feelings and at this time was more than vulnerable? He did not understand. Okay. Gary and his own person had decided to lead the life of a celebrated musician in the constant flurry of lightning. A life in which’s they were under observation. Likewise, Howard could not blame him and Gary for being more noticed by the public than he was. 

Since Mark was obviously lost in his thoughts and had now sat down to Gary on the edge of the bed, the doctor asked at some point, if with him at all was well. What Mark answered only after a felt eternity that he just wanted to be alone with Gary at that moment. What the doctor understood too well and was about to tell him that he should not be on Gary's side for too long. That Gary needed much more rest now than before. At the sight of Mark, however, he let his usual speech on the outside before and gave the singer the desired distance.

When the doctor finally left the room and Mark was more than alone with Gary, he quietly told his friend that he shouldn’t scare him so much and that he couldn’t be more proud of him. While others have already given themselves up, Gary really struggled to the utmost to survive this nerve-wracking story here. Gary is truly a fighter. In Mark's eyes, there really was no greater fighter in the world than Gary was. He had suffered a lot in his life so far. Be it personal tragedies or the deep fall of a genius musician, hardly anyone wanted to work with him. As for the latter, Mark had not even had the knowledge at first. At that time, he had really thought that Gary was doing reasonably well and he was living his newly rebuilt family life. It was only a few years later that he had learned that this was not the case and that his friend had even struggled with depression. In that sense, Gary really was more than admirable and should be a role model for everyone.

"Please keep fighting like this. Just do not let me down now, please. I still need you. … **We** need you. At least the most of us." Mark whispered at some point, holding Gary's hand as tight as he could.

So Gary knew he wasn’t alone and there were still people who didn’t want to lose him at all costs.

 

Several days passed. After this nocturnal and almost life-changing incident, nothing more had happened since then, and so the few days quickly became a few weeks, and then again, about a month. The only strange thing was that at that time, not a single picture of a comatose Gary appeared in any newspaper. Nothing like that had opened. It seemed as if this person, who had almost killed Gary, never existed. So it must have been someone who had no qualms about approaching him like this and would be careless. But apart from a paparazzi, Mark could not think of any other person who could take such risks. 

As it was the last week in November and Gary was already in a coma for about one and a half months, the question soon arose as to whether the singer would even wake up this year. Okay. There was still a lot of time to go by the end of the year and yet the year two thousand fifteen would be sooner than expected. Where would like a Mark and of course Dawn much, if Gary could make her happy this year and nonetheless wake up before Christmas. Although the doctors did not believe in it and still regarded his condition as slightly precarious, Mark and Dawn clung to this one hope in particular.

Last but not least, the far away Robbie, who certainly so called the once or twice in a week at Mark and asked for the current state of affairs. For one thing, he would really just want to drop by, but while Ayda had her hands full with his youngest offspring, it was up to him to take care of the firstborn. Although his mother-in-law could very well take on the part, it was important for a toddler not to be neglected by her parents in such a time. In addition, Robbie wanted to be a good father for his children and so he was currently difficult to fly to England on the fly. Well, as soon as there was some rest in the Williams home, he would surely find the time to visit his little friend. At any rate, he had decided that.

 

At an early-morning time, Mark strolled quietly through the still-quiet hospital corridors, slowly returning to the place where he had spent the night, carrying a mug of hot coffee in his hand. Sipping at his hot caffeine drink, Mark entered Gary's hospital room and sat down again with his friend. As he looked at him, he wondered how long they were going to do this. This constant presence on Gary's side, so as not to miss the time when he opened his eyes again, slowly pulled more and more at his patience, making him fall into a deep resignation. With the question in mind, why they were doing this every day and he therefore took his usual sleep pattern, Mark was suddenly seized by his fatigue and drifted purposefully in a country that lived mainly from his dreams. For a moment he already dreamed of Gary taking a deep breath and waking up again. What was that just a nice dream? But somehow this dream felt different than usual. As if it were really real. After he thought he heard another deep and heavy breath, Mark opened his closed eyes again, directed his almost hopeful glare to the person in front of him and watched his friend more than in depth. In the moment, Gary really made a clearly audible - but more difficult - breath and his closed eyes began to flicker more and more, Mark suddenly became wide awake and just could not believe it. Gary really woke up.

With full joy and a very wide grin on his face, in which one could read - that the worst was more than finally over, Mark instantly sat down on his bedside with his friend, embraced his left hand and addressed a few encouraging words.

 

At an early-morning time, Mark strolled quietly through the still-quiet hospital corridors, slowly returning to the place where he had spent the night, carrying a mug of hot coffee in his hand. Sipping at his hot caffeine drink, Mark entered Gary's hospital room and sat down again with his friend. As he looked at him, he wondered how long they were going to do this. This constant presence on Gary's side, so as not to miss the time when he opened his eyes again, slowly pulled more and more at his patience, making him fall into a deep resignation. With the question in mind, why they were doing this every day and he therefore took his usual sleep pattern, Mark was suddenly seized by his fatigue and drifted purposefully in a country that lived mainly from his dreams. For a moment he already dreamed of Gary taking a deep breath and waking up again. What was that just a nice dream? But somehow this dream felt different than usual. As if it were really real. After he thought he heard another deep and heavy breath, Mark opened his closed eyes again, directed his almost hopeful glare to the person in front of him and watched his friend more than in depth. In the moment, Gary really made a clearly audible - but more difficult - breath and his closed eyes began to flicker more and more, Mark suddenly became wide awake and just could not believe it. Gary really woke up.

With full joy and a very wide grin on his face, in which one could read - that the worst was more than finally over, Mark instantly sat down on his bedside with his friend, embraced his left hand and addressed a few encouraging words.

"Gary? Do you hear me? It's me Mark. ...Come on, it's time to wake up. You can open your eyes. It's really all right. You're in the hospital and Dawn will be coming soon. So do not worry, you'll be fine again. We all had a real fucking fear for you, so I'm supposed to send you more than a hundred greetings from Rob. As soon as he can, he will come over and visit you. ...", Mark tried to get a hearing from his friend and encouraged him to finally open his eyes again for more than a month and a half - that he had been lying in a coma long enough, which he ended up with because of the cramped and Gary's painful-looking facial features, even interrupting, "Gaz? ... Hey. What about you? Do you feel any pain?"

Of course, Mark did not get the right answer from him, so he could only hear how he was suffering from pain and, on the side, struggling with his difficult breathing. Without much thought, Mark instantly jumped up from the bedside and hurried to press the emergency button. Shortly after, he returned to Gary's side, held his hand again and spoke in a gentle voice that the doctor had already been called and therefore had to be on the road. But it had to be only seconds.


End file.
